When I was 8 years old, I doa pd Allah, "ya Allah, kau matikan aku boleh tak? Aku tak nak hidup dah" when I was 16 years old, I asked for the same thing. Now, at the age of 35, I asked Allah "ya Allah, when will my life stop? I'm tired of living. I just want to rest eternally." I know husband I kalau baca ni mesti marah. But I'm struggling with my mind all the time.