I've realized that when i'm not distracting myself with videos, games, music, or anything that takes my attention away, I start to really think about my life situation and it makes me depressed because of where i'm at. So it's like a cycle of "yea I know I should change but i'd rather do this" and fall back into attention distracting things to kind of numb this depression. I know this and yet can't break free from the cycle.