Why I firmly believe in “forgive, don’t forget” If we had conflict and you (/we) showed up well, I don’t want to forget. That shows that our relationship can withstand the inevitable friction points that all deep relationships encounter. If it didn’t go well, some sort of work on the relationship needs to be done and/or reevaluation needs to happen. “Not forgetting” =/= holding a grudge. It simply means not forgetting.