No one ever tells you when you get sober that everything compounds there is no more compartmentalizing and suddenly everything hurts so much more than it used to, simultaneously because so much brain damage that none of the happy chemicals produce right, all the things you used to love no longer bring you Joy, you have to learn to live all over again but this time without addiction and it's sometimes really sucks, especially when you already have borderline personality disorder. I'm so tired...