Why did the doctors tell your father-in-law but not your mother-in-law her diagnosis and prognosis?

This is so hard, but you are right. She needs to know.

I recently watched two foreign films (subtitled) and in that culture they also did not tell the grandmother her persistent cough was due to lung cancer. Their explanation was she wouldnt enjoy her remaining days knowing this terminal diagnosis. It would only be sadness. I think everyone deserves the right to know.

Why hasn’t the doctor told the patient about HER diagnosis?

Don’t quite understand why her doctors are not being honest with her.

Something is missing here. My wife doesn't have access to my medical history, and I don't have access to her history either. The only way this scenario could happen is if she dictated all care decisions were to be handled by her husband (which I don't know how or if that would even work or is even a possiblity), or she was declared mentally unfit for making these decisions.

A horrible situation but why isn’t HER doctor telling HER what is happening to HER?!

My husband’s step father never told us anything about my mother-in-law’s health until after things resolved. Oh Dot had an appendectomy? Oh Dot had a benign tumour removed? Oh Dot had pneumonia and was in the hospital? We were told of her imminent death. We also found out the real reason they never wanted us to visit. She was on oxygen for years. She had Botox treatments for essential tremor and the doctor gave her too much. She had trouble breathing and swollowing. Anyway, it’s a sore point.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Sadly, your father in law is taking this stand because it’s easier on HIM and that’s too bad. He is depriving her of significant opportunities.

Is she going to rehab or hospice? If it’s hospice I would think the hospice staff would work with the family to help them with end of life decisions. The biggest part of that decision is the input from the patient.