Surely, it shouldn’t always be like that. Or am I overthinking it? I’ve analyzed this topic a bit over the years and I see why it’s harder to make friends as an adult. The other day my therapist asked if I had people who give back to me, meet my needs, etc…in the grand scheme of friends/safety net. I actually thought about it and most of my best friends live in other cities. My husband and I don’t really have any new acquaintances or budding friendships. 2/

I measure friendships by whether someone sends me their NYT connections score on a regular basis 😄 But more seriously it sounds like you could use opportunities to meet people and socialize. I've made a lot of friends thru work activities, but if that isn't an option a hobby group might work. If you're in the US, it's a great time to volunteer for a political campaign too. Being neurospicy adds another layer of complication though, so don't hesitate to get support from a therapist if needed

I can relate to this. I often feel that I'm the one initiating contact and making plans. Sometimes I feel down about that, but mostly I think that if they are important to me I want to make the effort. Making friends as an adult is not easy. I decided long ago that the best thing you can do as a friend is just show up. We may not talk regularly or get together often, but if they need me somewhere, I will show up for them ❤

You can still make friends but it’s usually based on common interests or proximity. Like talking to random stranger IRL for fun is less of a thing (I miss those days). I like fitness so I met people who also enjoy fitness. My kids are in sports, so I hangout with other parents during the kid’s competition. Since other friends have kids or doing training for carreer advancements, we meet 1-2x a month. I meetup with co-workers more frequently for lunch cause of proximity.

Some areas have meet up groups that do monthly (or more) meet ups, my most recent friends I made while I was in line for something, so sometimes just being friendly to the people you're queueing with works! I also recently joined a theatre group I heard about from one of my new friends, so seeing if there are local groups for your hobbies is a great option too! If you're looking for local friends, go to public places.

Yup, nearly always the one initiating. Beacause of the distance, I see my friends like twice or thrice a year. and some I haven't seen for more than a year because of conflicting schedules.

everything i read on social says we all barely have any friends, we all want to make friends, and none of us know how. i think we should start a trend where anyone who’s looking to make new friends wears like… a green circle pin on their shirt as a sign of wanting to be approached.

The only time I ever made real life friends as an adult is when I worked as a barista and bartender. The friends I made were regulars. 🤣 But they have been long lasting friendships of people I am totally glad to have in my life. Honestly not sure how else you make friends. I’m a mom, too!

Pick a hobby, preferably one with regular meetings/games/etc and go all in on it. Back when we were in school it was easier to make friends because we saw the same people repeatedly. You have to manufacture the same thing in adulthood. So for example, I joined a quilters guild and I go to all the meetings and make a point of engaging with people in the guild. Now I have quilty friends!

I was just about to post a long thread on the topic of friends and connection- and how it has shifted mostly to this type of online community for me. For real world connections, the best bet is to pursue a hobby or sport that requires you to get out and meet with people.