This therapist is a bad fit for this. It’s clear as day. For one, she has no compassion - or at least isn’t articulating it (you don’t get to hide behind “I’m blunt” while criticizing parents who are looking for support). I suspect I know what controversial therapy you’re speaking of and ironically the dismissive way she responded kinda proves she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You do not need an authority over you bossing you around. You’re a consumer. You’re in the driver’s seat. 1/2

2/2 You’re looking for professionals who have something to offer you. Their lived experience as neurodivergent ppl or parents of (but note: neither speaks for everyone). Their relational support.. their listening ears.. compassion. Sometimes, other parents are a better resource than the pros. Keep looking. You can find a better support person than this. Trust your gut.

I hesitate to make generalisations but I don’t think this is remotely okay. We don’t talk about children as problems, and certainly not in front of them. The core tenet of therapy is quite literally that people aren’t problems, but that their behavior is a reaction to a problematic situation or dynamic. The goal of family therapy is to get everyone back on the same team, and take collective responsibility for addressing issues that cause disconnection and dysfunction.

Seems inappropriate. And if you hate her, this isn’t going to work.

One of my biggest regrets as a parent is that although I pushed back on the therapeutic parenting class procedures we were taught for kid A (but were supposed to implement household wide) as inappropriate for kid B, I implemented them anyway and it was really bad. The program was a miracle for kid A but catastrophic for kid B and the family in general. I truly wish I had listened to my gut and I recommend you listen to yours.

Ngl I don’t think anyone’s opinion on this matters except yours and your spouses. You don’t like her, and that’s the only reason you need to find someone else. Whether your reasons for disliking her are 100% valid (which I do think they are but even if they weren’t) it would still be your right and a good idea to get someone else

as a MSW social worker my advice see someone else. We saw one and I still remember her saying stop aiming so high and focus on survival She had been a medical social worker before family therapist and she got the struggle was real.

From what you’ve shared and how this person’s guidance is resonating with you, I’d encourage you to please find another provider. Sometimes more harm can be done by an incompetent therapist than the trauma you showed up to navigate through.

My relationship with my child improved by leaps and bounds after I stopped pretending that I have it all together and opened up to him about my struggles. It not only helped him to be vulnerable opening up to me but also we are now “learning with” each other - maybe he lacks the life experiences I have, but he also hasn’t internalized and normalized all the things that I have. But I don’t think I would have done it if I was pressured to do so by a therapist who I didn’t feel comfortable with.

What???! I’m a psychotherapist specializing in children with special needs. This is appalling. This is now how it should be. Believe you me, you know more than she does. Period.