Yes it’s hard to look after yourself and give your best to the (meaningful) work. There’s a social norm that we need to show our happy faces. It’s ok not to be happy all the time. We’ve all been there. (I don’t do the exercise part which makes it worse!) you’re an inspiration regardless. Hugs

You’re such an inspiration Dean, and you give so much - in your work and how you support others. And your smile literally lights up the room. I don’t think I can offer any words of wisdom, other than - it’s ok not to be the strong smiley one all the time. It’s ok not to feel ok, it doesn’t mean you’re ‘broken’ and need fixing. It’s ok to feel numb, that may be what you need right now. Be gentle with yourself. It will pass. I know that’s a cliche, but it will. Trust yourself, and your bodymind.

Try meditation. Truly, a game changer for many. And community.

Being numb sucks.  I personally think it sucks worse than depression that is connected to deep sadness, because it’s blocking all feelings, just incredibly exhausting.