Feyre was searching for security and comfort, Tamlin gave that to her and she loves him. Tamlin needs to feel useful and she let him and he loved her. They don’t love each other because of these things but they contribute. They’re both hot and attracted to each other, once warmed up they got along well. They were who they needed at the time but then grew in different ways after UTM and didn’t fit anymore

I think tamlin loved what feyre could give him, and didn't truly start to fall in love until after she left and he realised she wasn't coming back, resulting in his choices and actions (I don't agree with them though lol)

I think he loved the IDEA he had in his head of her, but he didn’t actually SEE her and love her for the real her. Once she felt safer and could let her real self show more he wasn’t ready for that/wasn’t ready to grow with her or just let her grow.

He loved the idea of being in love with her, but only when it served his own narrative. Feyre loved a mask.

Neither. They both believed they were in love -- Tamlin really was born out of out of desperation for her to save his Court and the taking care of her that followed. Feyre had no idea what love actually was - but that doesn't make it less real for her at that time.

This man's let her wither away instead of giving her the agency she desperately needed. He put himself first at every moment except maybe when he sent he back to the human lands and sacrificed his whole damn court like a jackass

I think he did love her. He made her go back to the human lands because of it. He was willing to damn his whole court so feyre wouldn’t be in danger. But then after everything UTM and his trauma, he kind of just snapped into overprotection mode that overrode everything. That’s the biggest issue I have with Sarah J Maas and how inconsistent the writing is