Me? I would go to them. 1. Buddha. He would probably just tell you to detach yourself from all desires, including the desire for a relationship. So much for relationship advice! 😭 2. Schopenhaur. Love is suffering, prepare for disappointment. Embrace the pain, otherwise eternal loneliness! 4. Friedrich Nietzsche. His advice would be... 'What doesn't kill your relationship makes it stronger.'" 5. Descartes. His advice would be something like, "I think therefore I am... single."