Why does it always has to be me? Why can’t I process this better? I want to know when I can start taking control. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to be someone. I want to die. If not I don’t want to be conscious. I hate thinking. I hate being aware. I hate being taught what to think and what to know. Lie to me and make me believe that this place is ever colourful again. I have to go