I completely understand​. Be sure to reach out to someone, anyone, if it gets to be too much. Whether you're feeling actively suicidal or passively, it's still important to try and seek help. There's resources out there and if they throw you to the curb. There's people like me who care way too much about making sure others feel seen and understood. Because we know how much it hurts.

I def feel you. I just lost 3 years of sobriety.