I'm sorry my friend I truly am. I wish I could help in some way really. But I've also fallen on hard times more than I'd like to admit. I feel worse then other days. But something in my heart says keep going even though I don't see the so to speak the light at the end of path yet. But you are my dearest oldest friend. Even though through out the years we've lost connection throughout the years. But for some reason we ended up finding one other. So in a long way but short way I'm always here 4 u