I wanted and set myself up to breastfeed with my oldest and I felt like such a failure. In the hospital everyone said that he was getting colostrum and doing great but I was so nervous I asked for the specialist to come back and help me with the gaurd. It was covid and crazy and she never made it back. I was up forever because he wouldnt sleep. We went home and at his first appointment (on a monday) he lost half his body weight. He was colic and would fall asleep not latching much.