I understand how it feels to be in that state, friend I used to be majorly depressed, anxious, and actively s*icidal between ages 17 and 19 I don't know you, but our suffering is not alien to each other. I know how crippling & painful this state can be. I know how quickly it can spiral. I'm here for you, friend -- if you need someone who understands and knows how to listen :) I can't promise I'll give the best advice, but I can just about promise that you will feel heard, seen, and understood