When we compare from scratch to boxed cake, they’re really not that different, especially since plenty of bakers do things like add extra eggs and fat and other ingredients to vastly improve the resulting cake. As far as time and effort and skill are concerned, again, the same. Being heated about whether she was sifting flour or not is… honestly a bit petty. What you’ve said about the falling out, and some contradictory comments about the cake issue, I’m not seeing her at fault at all.