Too many people use the word narcissist with no idea what it actually means.

Noone is attracted to a narcissist. The way it works is they pretend to be whoever you want them to be. There are signs but they are so subtle you don't even notice it until years later they become a distinct pattern. They are very good at it and from trial and error they hone the skills their craft as they get older.

Cause when they’re good they’re great

Boys are raised to be narcissistic men. Boys are told not to show emotions, aren’t shown as much affection as girls, parents tend to be more lenient towards their bad behaviors (e.g. “Boys will be boys”), etc. It’s by social design.