Just remember it's oka to not be ok. Your heart is broken 💔 and only time can heal. I can only imagine how you feel 😥 Go speak with a therapist They can help you get through it. I'm sure it's still fresh in your heart but wouldn't he want you to move forward? Please don't forget your other family members who need you too. They too are grieving. God bless you 🙏🙏🙏