I so recognize this. But it doesn’t make the hurt stop. It’s more a feeling of when the main character in a great movie dies. I still cry even if it wasn’t real. I think it’s because I’m real.

They are possessed by demons. One does not first have to commit crimes or do bad things to become possessed by demons. Fear, trauma in all forms, and deep depression can open the doors to demon possessions. The just need deliverance and taught not to go back to the same sin; like a dog to it's vomit.