Yikes girlfriend! My heart hurts for you, truly. What a thoughtless situation that shouldn’t have happened. I hope you take it easy tonight and start feeling better.

Grow a pair

Why are all brothers like this? Is there some handbook that they all read that says to eat everyone else’s food?

NTA. enjoy your peaceful christmas! & i hope you feel better.

Coming from a total place of kindness, have you tried to go to family therapy with your mom or sat her down with some wise words of a therapist backing you? I had similar issues for years and worked through it and have a much better relationship with the whole family now, but it did require multiple attempts before my mom was willing to hear the words I was saying and internalize them. My brother didn’t even realize what was happening until we had a heart to heart about it too and he helped her

INFO - if you don’t eat dairy or eggs as a vegan and it sounds like this meal contained those (since you specified vegetarian not vegan), why would you want the food anyway? Like I get that it’s the thought that counts but it doesn’t fit your diet?

You sound way too extra.

It is really disturbing that your family invites you to a meal-centered event but normally does not provide any food you are able to partake in. That tells me right there who the asshole is. My SIL is vegan and when I cook for a holiday she has a full menu of items to choose from—last year I made a mushroom Wellington, roasted veggies, roasted potatoes, we had vegan stuffing, vegan rolls, and a vegan apple pie. Sure, it takes time and effort. But she’s part of our family and is worth that.

Nta

I see your brother is the Golden Child and you're the Scapegoat. I'd personally start going low/no contact.