I dont know why everytime Christmas is coming im not excited. While others are busy thinking what they will cook for noche buena or what they will wear. Me? I dont know but i always feel like, i always feel lonely and sad whenever its coming. I always feel like theres always missing and its like all the traumas are coming back or flashing back thats why. I feel so empty. I feel so lost that i couldnt fully be happy whenever my birthday/christmas is coming.