When she asked why someone (who died) doesn’t visit, LIE, change the subject. Oh, they have been busy, anything but the truth. They will grieve every single time.

Get all legal documents like POA signed now.

Acknowledge to yourself that it’s hard to watch and hard to make decisions for her care. It’s brutal. If she hasn’t yet, but still can talk with her about the end of her life. I was able to imagine my mother at 60 standing at the foot of the bed next to me when she was in her eighties. I could check in by asking her what she wanted me to do. The message was always to follow her instructions and not to let anyone push me or guilt me into changing the plan. Be kind to yourself.

Live in her world not yours. I don't think that my step sister ever told her mother that my step sisters husband passed away during Covid.

Be patient

I've been through this with my mom. Best advice I could give you is to live in their world. So, if they want breakfast at 5:00 pm, go for it. If they ask for people who are long dead, don't remind them of this. Say something like "can you tell me about your dad?" Try to avoid saying "remember when...?" At first they can get quite upset about not remembering people or events.

@momanddadhavedementia Any thoughts?

Steel your heart

My mother had Alzheimer’s. I once said to her, “Don’t you remember such and such?” She looked so defeated. Never say to her, “Don’t you remember….” No, she doesn’t remember.

Patience patience patience and never take anything she says personally. This too shall pass. Enjoy her world with her . Take care of yourself and as what one of the commenters said, get all the legal paperwork done. This will eliminate unnecessary stress and work later on.