I've spent most of my life alone on Xmas. A good part of that came from living in Asia for many years, but mostly it's that old childhood trauma-created coping mechanism called isolation. It felt easier, safer just to be by myself. Years of therapy & many a therapist tried to pull me out of it. Last year I had somewhere to go. Even gave/got presents. It was a BFD. Then life happened & I'm back to being alone. And I *hate* that I'm wishing I hadn't given in. Anyway thanks for listening.