Yes it's horrendous.

My husband doesn’t understand how Christmas songs etc can trigger such bittersweet emotions in me, so much so, I have to turn them off. Some of them break my heart at the emotions they stir. Funnily enough, I’m not like that with carols, just popular songs that you hear every year. I can see my mum, nanna, all of us kids. It’s like I could cry for those times. Am sure my other half thinks I’m being miserable but it’s such a trigger.

I miss the magic & excitement of being a kid. No gifts or surprises any more, just plenty of work to prepare and clean up a meal that's supposed to be special.