It is really hard. The need to reverse roles to becoming the caretaker is hard enogh without resistance. It sounds like you may need to get POA for their medical needs. Do they have living wills and/or POLST declarations (signed by their PCP)? My father refused to go into AL with his MCI that eventually progressed to dementia, and we wound up effectively creating AL outside of institutional AL using private caretakers. He got to live how he wanted, but the burden of managing his care was huge.