My advice is forget about it and move on. Life you see is short and wasting it on someone that isn’t in your life anymore is just plain daft. Move on and do something with your life. Do it now because soon it will be too late and you’ll be dead and it then won’t matter.

Get some counselling.

I’m sorry I was so rude to you all. I am a fighter in life but this whole affair has broken me. And it’ll be for life. I’m trying so so hard to, you know, get through it all. I don’t want sympathy. In fact I’d rather be left alone. No, he’s NOT worth anything, and I hate him. But the ‘revenge’ bit is still there. It’s complex, but it WILL be worth it. There must be other people on here, who have either been in the same position. You can go anonymous if you want.