My theology on finding “the one” changed when I realized Leah was un choosen by Jacob and Tamar deceived Judah into being with him by pretending to be a prostitute and from this line was the Messiah born. Humans are sinful, make bad choices and can‘t fully understand Gods plan. He doesn’t require this of us for His providence to manifest in our lives regarding spouses. Choosing well is important but finding the one may not be the romatacized story you expected. God makes miracles out of messes.