My mom died at home. She had alzheimers and earlier hospital stays were horrible. She couldn't understand where she was or why. Home was much much better. Don't force food or water. Follow her lead. Call for a hospice evaluation. It will help. Focus on her comfort not forcing anything. Hospice will help you treat her pain. Keep talking to her and playing music. My mom really got comfort from that. Let close friends and family know that they should come by for short visits.

We sat with my grandmother in the last few days when she was like this. Give her love, tell her you love her, and know she’ll still be around, in your genes and your heart. Let her rest

My Nana, great-grandmother, stopped eating and drinking at 102 and passed away soon after. She was tired and ready. ❤️

It’s so difficult to stop trying to feed the ones we love when their body stops wanting to go on. Such a loving human response to want to fix it so you never lose them. Instead, try to be present for the time you have left and focus on quality over quantity. You only get this chance once. Spend time with them soothing however you can. Talk and tell old stories again, listen to music, read aloud, sit together in silence, whatever works. Sending you many wishes for peace and grace in this time. 💙

Ask her what she wants during a lucid moment. I am sure I will be in the minority with this opinion, but if she is in severe pain, please don't prolong the pain.

When my dad was in end-stage dementia and in a nursing home, he literally forgot How to eat. His geriatric doctor told me this; “He’s not in pain; he’s ready to go on. Tube feeding and IV hydration will just prolong the process. Artificially keeping terminally ill people alive is just cruel.” He died a couple days later. My son and I were there, singing his favorite hymns when he passed. It was peaceful for him, if difficult for us. I don’t regret allowing him a dignified passing. RIP Dad.

My mother did the same. All part of the progression of dementia. Sadly, I couldn't understand her for the last 5 months of her life. She finally stopped taking her medications and there wasn't anything we could say to change her mind. It lead her passing at 91. My heart goes out to you and your family.

It’s about quality of life over quantity. It is her control even in dementia to eat/drink or not. It is the body’s natural defense in the dying process to not eat/drink. Hospice will tell you that. As long as she’s pain free, give her permission to go when she’s ready. She hears you.

One day my 105 year old grandma who had dementia took out her teeth, put them aside and stopped eating and drinking. She went to an event at the facility with a falconer who brought his falcon to visit. She then was taken to her room for a nap. Later one of the nurses told me she passed as the falconer left with his bird. I like to think the falcon was her spirit animal who took her to the other side.

What you’re going through is next to impossible. Pain mitigation and company is what we can offer. We should all be so lucky to have someone who loves us nearby.