I can relate to all of this, although I waited until I was 12 to officially declare myself to be an atheist. For a number of years I travelled abroad during the holiday season, but learned quickly that I could not avoid it entirely. Now I try to make the best of it regardless of where I am, and focus on the genuine and reciprocal relationships I have in my life. It makes it easier to find a little holiday spirit. Thankfully, I have many such people around me. For that, I am grateful.