It's not a dichotomy.

I’m autistic and also not dead, so can confirm this is preferable.

My 15 year old will never be able to communicate, form relationships, contribute to society and will need 1:1 care for the rest of his life, which is also spent in constant anxiety for which he needs multiple meds to control or else he will literally starve himself to death. His body doesn’t signal hunger like it should & he refuses to eat when his stress is high. This is just a teeny fraction of his reality & unless you’re living the life of Level 3 Autism, F off with your blanket assumptions.

For sure.

You say that but this ain’t a good life tbh. We are severely traumatized and alone.