Everyone wants an innate trans gay soul or cis straight soul to exist so bad! It's way simpler to talk about "who you are" than to think in terms of what you want and do. But the way we label favors the status quo. Rather than merely seeing your parents do cishet, you grow up being told that they -are- cishet, and so -are- most people. Trans and gay - to me - are ways of describing my social position, traits developed from my desire and actions in societal context, rather than innate.