On the first New Year’s Eve after my wife died 4 months prior, I was in such a thick fog and dreaded leaving the year she was last alive in. Entering a year she would never see felt too painful. The next year was less foggy but I hated that I could no longer say “my wife died last year”. Every new year since, the fog returns. Our bodies remember, even when our brains forget. If you’re feeling off this evening, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just grief.

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2025-01-01 00:41

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Katie Zicarelli Gesell, LCSW | Grief Support
griefbites

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發文後	用戶	內容
3 小時內	Margaret Curtis gorgona216	My husband died in 2013 and it’s the same feeling every year. 💔
3 小時內	Margaret Curtis gorgona216	“Oh world, what lessons you prepare for us, even in the leafless winter, even in the ashy city. I am thinking now of grief, and of getting past it.” Mary Oliver
3 小時內	Sandi Lowe sandi.lowe7	Feeling this. My mum died last August. I feel worse going into a new year without her than having Christmas without my extended family (we live in the other side of Australia to them). Also it’s her birthday on Saturday so that feels awful too.
9 小時內	Sue Hendry suzyqute60	Thank you so much for your post. I struggled through yesterday, and last night was the worst. Mum died end of September and I've been keeping it together as best I could for dad. Midnight struck last night. Hubby gone to bed. I sat and sobbed my heart out. I have never felt as lonely as I did last night. Sending you love and best wishes for the year ahead. Your post showed me I am not alone feeling like this. 💕
10 小時內	Andi Wilkinson andi.wilki	This!!! I've been trying to explain exactly what you've written. I lost my daughter and today I can't say last year anymore. Its really had a huge effect on me. Harder than Xmas, I wasn't expecting this! Thank you for sharing your pain. It helped me understand I'm not alone x
14 小時內	Caroline Carrigan carcarrigan	When I was just finishing the first year of grief, I heard about the 2nd year being harder. And since he died in January, that first Christmas was so far removed from his death, a lot of people barely mentioned him anyway. The second year was 2020, so you know how that went. This is the first winter season (I refer to the holidays from Halloween to V-day as the Crescent of Despair) that’s gone easier for me. But I’ve deliberately kept it somewhat at arms length.
16 小時內	Leah Bann leelaloo72	YES. My mum passed June 18, 2004. The rest of the summer was busy with the work of “finalizing things” and next thing I knew, it was late October. I found myself in this deep depression- my mom was gone, my garden (the thing she and I loved to connect over was our gardens)was dead, the season had ended. I was overcome by grief. It has gotten easier over the last 20 years-but every year in late October, a fog descends. I understand it better these days, and reflect and celebrate her. ❤️