A few months back, he put the bag in the dryer, shrinking my favorite wool sweater to comical proportions. After arguing with him about cause and effect for longer than necessary, I sent him a link to replace the sweater. To his credit, I had a replacement within a week. I've got another wool shirt needing to be washed this week. So this time, I got his attention and pointed out the shirt in the mesh bag, reminding him of our system that this bag should never go in the dryer. 2/3

When we got married, one of the very first household decisions we made (initiated by my husband) was that we were each solely responsible for our own laundry. 15 years later, that still sticks, with very few exceptions (like, oh, you’re doing a load of jeans — can you throw this pair in since I need them tomorrow?). No kids, so that helps.

My ex husband kept 4 piles of dirty clothes. 1. floor by laundry (WHY) 2. floor by his closet/dresser 3. floor by his nightstand (joining the clean pile from nightstand, creating mixed blob) 4. floor of bathroom/by front door We’re arguing about this one day. Him: I don’t need you to do my laundry. I can wash my own clothes. Me: Cool! 2 wks later, he’s showered, towel waisted. Him: Honey, where’s my clothes? I need underwear and I can’t find a clean work shirt. (he blamed me)

I do most of our laundry, but my wife's weird delicate stuff I leave for her to wash, and none of us finds it unfair; also it is always better if you destroy your stuff yourself than being angry at someone else who destroyed it...

Why do women marry men

That's when you start serving him inedible meals. When he complains, just say "Ugh..this is too much. Maybe you should just start making your own meals."

As someone who left because of DV, malicious compliance and weaponized incompetence… No need for nagging. They should be doing their own research because when it’s important to them you bet they’ll be watching multiple tutorials on the shitter before doing the task. If they’re overall amazing and it’s just the one thing you can overlook and live with him or you can leave and stop wasting energy on a man who doesn’t want to change.

I have no clue how anyone thinks they can behave like this and still be attractive to the person they playing pathetic with. Well done for not allowing him off the hook. Sorry you have to manage him like this

I worry trade him doing laundry yourself for another job for him to do. Like wash the windows inside and it, clean all the bathrooms including sweeping and mopping.

I think your husband has a point. As it’s apparently a bit of a pattern, I think you should consider taking care of your wool stuff/ lintercepting that bag before the dryer stage. In the case of the wool, it’s not that it’s too much, but it’s not a usual garnet type you have and it’s not easy to identify off the bat. Now it’s absolutely his fault for ruining the sweater. But you’re aware that it’s an issue for him. The complaining is annoying but I think y’all need to reevaluate this.