For many years I was a suicidal mess. The drugs I did then made it much worse. I agree that suicide is a long term solution to a temporary problem. I'm not suicidal now because I'm actually interested how far I can get in life. I'm curious to see what will happen and can I really help heal the hurting woman I am today. The truth is, I'm scared out of my wits. Because usually all I've done in life is fail. And it's painful, but I'm working on it.