I had a feeling the night before we got married when we were intimate for the first time. But I really knew when I was a few weeks pregnant and he was being verbally awful towards me while in bed. I elbowed him lightly and he flung up so quickly I jumped out of bed and he pinned me against the wall threatening to end me. It’s been 12 years. I’ve regretted not leaving every day since. I hate myself for staying, and because I do not know what real love feels like.