In my experience: I think it’s hard for women to grasp the idea that I actually enjoy who they are, as they are!! I’m not here to tell you how to dress. What you can post. Who you can be friends with. What your desires can be. Your personhood is your own and your proximity to me doesn’t undermine your agency over that! If I decide to pair with you it’s because I genuinely enjoy who you are. Continue to exist that way, if YOU decide to shift, let it be because that’s what you want!