He’s like the brother I never had but only the fun kind who always has your back. He brought joy back into my life after my husband died. When I’m with him & his wife doing what I can to help each of them I stay strong. When I’m alone at night I’m broken. I can’t sleep &I can feel that physical grief pain I felt when my husband died. I’m screaming inside like a relentless battering ram breaking me into pieces. I can’t come to terms that he will most likely be dead by April. I can’t do this.