Ah yes, the Pacific Northwest—where the weather forecast is just different shades of gray & everyone's personality is directly linked to how much water falls from the sky. A light drizzle? Mild grumpiness. Heavy rain? Existential dread. A rare sunny day? Mass euphoria, spontaneous BBQs, & people forgetting how to drive. But today? Oh, today is peak *PNW sadness*, folks. So grab your overpriced oat milk latte, crank up the My Chemical Romance , and embrace the soggy despair. The rain owns us now.