I hate autism. I fucking despise having autism me. I tried to hang myself this morning. And I feel suicidal again but I refuse to contact Christ's team. Why? Because why don't you have a cup of tea? Why don't you have a bath or go for a walk? I don't wantto do that shit. It's just gone past 2 AM. And I I'm just laying in bed thinking do I just go to self checkout because what the fuck is this life? I don't want this fucking life mate. autism