All his children are going through one thing or another and you are not alone .Dont focus on whats not and if you only do it for minute then live in the moment and start to think of all the things you CAN be thankful to God for past ,present and future .Tell yourself a joke and then laugh with yourself .Then just do ,whatever it is thats in front of you to do .This may not take the struggle and pain away but it will help you fight through it.Last but not least love dont let your heart be bitter.

A song writer says something that "if He can carry the weight of the world upon His shoulder, I know my God can carry you" Trust God at all times ans lean not on your own understanding. God can carry you through any storm. Stop negative thoughts and begin to let the word of God guide you. If you can listen to audio bible daily, play songs of worship and let everything God permeate your life. Don't give in to the devil. God is able to keep you. Will keep you in my prayers