I work freelance and on contracts, which comes with its own stresses and problems, but leaves me time and freedom during ‘off season’ periods to create, walk, think, study, read, nap, and just BE. I’ve deliberately structured my life this way (after much trial and error) because it’s vital to my mental health and ability to work (i have a plethora of neurodivergences 😆). The trade off is a slightly less stable income and the need to regularly hustle for work, but I’m fine with that.

I hear you and I have similar struggles BUT I find that as the kids get older they play together for longer periods and/or are more willing to participate alongside me as I engage in my interests. Like now I can take them to the park and knit while listening to a podcast. They play with their friends and are supervised. Now we can do puzzles and games together.

i don't wanna have to put effort into relaxing by scheduling it😵‍💫 that defeats the purpose

I thought that at one point in Mt lif,too. I got my wish. Now I'm disabled because I had brain surgery, and have seizures most of the day, but when I'm conscious, I can do all of those things. Unfortunately, I'm not conscious enough of the day to enjoy those things, and I've also got Fibromyalgia, so I'm in pain all of the time. I'd rather be working again. The grass is not greener on the other side. God Bless you. 💗🫂